throwing in the towel

Lately parenting has been feeling more and more like a series of failures than anything else. I suppose that has a lot to do with the expectations that you set for yourself and I tend set some pretty high expectations. I need to be one of those people who are happy make do, go with the flow.

As I think about my (nearly) three-year-old who has no interest in using the potty, the baby that I want to wean so desperately, and every morning that I wake up with both of them in my bed despite resolving the night before to have them sleep in their own beds, I feel exhausted.

When do I get to throw in the towel? Or did I already do that?

In her book Carry On, Warrior, Glennon Melton discusses how maybe when you acknowledge that parenting is hard it means that you are doing something right. I guess I wish I weren’t so damn right all the time.

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3 thoughts on “throwing in the towel

  1. Parenting really is one of the hardest jobs you will ever have. You don’t get paid, there are no vacation days or sick leave and it’s 24/7. I think there is this weird peer pressure for mothers to be able to do it all and be successful in every task. Not once have I met a mother who was like that. Mothers lose their temper, have things go wrong and children don’t all use the toilet at age three or learn to spell their names by the time they are four. It’s very unrealistic. Sometimes the best thing you can do is just love your kids and embrace the chaos.

  2. I know it’s hard to hear at a time like this but I always fall back onto “this too shall pass.” Then I go drink another cup of coffee. I know for sure that motherhood has revealed the highest most intense happiness and the deepest more revealing vulnerabilities of myself. It’s startling sometimes to see the truth. Hang in there. You are a wonderful mother working hard everyday to better the lives of your children.

  3. ah, rachel. thank you, thank you. for all your words here (i’m so HAPPY, however long/whatever form blogging takes for you), but especially for these words. i’ve felt totally helpless as a parent this month…like, i get that parenting is a big guessing game a lot of the time, but i feel like i’m always guessing wrong. i, too, wish i could go with the flow, let edie toss and chat in bed all night and not slowly boil, read ‘lots of lambs’ cheerfully, etc,etc. but i think i’m ok not playing the long game all the time. i think thats all right sometimes. anyways, i’m with you đŸ™‚ sending love from chicago, lauren

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